Trauma: Part 1
As we support clients through their trauma history, dissecting the meaning of trauma and a few general components assigned to it will be beneficial.
Generally, trauma is defined as an event that overwhelms the nervous system and its ability to cope. What do we mean when referring to an “overwhelmed nervous system”? Our brain is wired to respond to threats in a way that protects our physical and emotional well-being; in such a state, our nervous system operates within the limits of The Window of Tolerance. During trauma exposure (or repeated traumatic events), our nervous system’s way of protecting us gets disrupted. As a result, it loses its ability to control and respond proportionally to an event. This disruption alters the nervous system pathways and creates different patterns of responding to the outside world, whether real or perceived traumatic events. As a result, our nervous system is pushed outside the window of tolerance, creating four primary survival responses/patterns: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
Fight: Some of us have the tendency to take immediate control by fighting back when exposed to or triggered by a traumatic event. This is a natural and normal reaction when faced with real danger, as it can protect our physical and/or emotional integrity. Those who have been exposed to perceived threats may automatically resort to their fight response as a way of protecting themselves. This means they interpreted a neutral event as a source of chronic stress, pushing them outside their tolerance window and triggering their fight trauma response. The fight response can translate to different behaviors and/or feelings, such as outbursts of anger, controlling/explosive behaviors, demanding the perfection of others, a sense of entitlement, or being confrontational.
Flight: Some events activate the window of tolerance so that our nervous system perceives “no other choice” but to flee from the situation as a way of survival. Think about walking into a room and suddenly noticing a roaring tiger in the corner. The wisdom of your body and nervous system mobilizes you and activates your survival skills, making you recognize that the source of the threat is simply too big to fight with, and perhaps the best course of action is to flee from the room and keep your body safe. While this response serves a great purpose for our sense of safety, it can also translate to some behaviors that can burden our physical or emotional health. Some examples of such behaviors are workaholism, overthinking, overachieving, perfectionism, and chronic worrying.
Freeze: Another layer of a trauma response is reacting to a perceived and/or real threat with a freeze reaction. Again the wisdom of the body and our emotional system bring us a sense of safety by shutting down our reactions to the “unsafe” world around us to maintain our physical and emotional integrity. Examples of a freeze response are difficulty making decisions, feeling stuck, dissociation, isolation, numbing, brain fog, spacing out, depression and shame.
Fawn: As the last major trauma response, fawning is keeping our well-being intact by choosing people-pleasing to calm the threat and control an unsafe environment. In all the other mentioned trauma responses, there is an element of pushback, separation, and cut-off from the world around us. However, with fawning, there is a gesture of emotional engagement that “keeps” the relational exchange one-sided yet “safe.” Fawning may calm the immediate threat but translates to an enabling tactic that can intensify the threat. People with a strong sense of fawning may adopt behaviors such as pleasing and flattering others, struggling with a sense of boundary, avoiding conflicts, prioritizing others, and lacking self-identity.
Reflective corner:
What do you recognize about yourself when triggered by a real or a perceived threatening event?
Are you able to identify with any of the mentioned trauma responses?
Are you aware of some triggers/themes/ patterns that activate you enough and push you outside your window of tolerance? What are some of the sensations you may feel?
Below are some suggestions from our clinical team that can support grounding you when you feel overwhelmed by a trauma response.
Moving your body, such as walking, stretching, dancing, and engaging in yoga movements.
Intentional breathing
Focus on hand/eye coordination activities such as journaling and coloring.
Find your “comfy.”
Lean into your relational connection, like talking to a friend or scheduling a therapy appointment
Make setting boundaries a daily routine.
Invite laughter to your day by watching funny clips.
Give and receive hugs.
Practice self-compassion and remember when we feel we deserve this the least, we need it the most!
Set daily intentions
Written by Pouneh A. & Debbie C.
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