A Candid Moment with Sophora: Self-Care

Self-care is such a buzz nowadays, with everything from blogs, articles, and workshops on the topic. In addition to all the clever metaphors, put your oxygen mask on first before you help anyone else; how can you pour out of an empty cup? It’s a great visual to understand self-care, and caring for yourself is a great thing, don’t get me wrong. It’s also A LOT of work, a lot of intentional hard, rewarding work, but work nonetheless. 

Many agencies state they are all for self-care because they make nature retreats, have art classes, or massage days, which are wonderful. That type of self-care teaches us that self-care is separate from work. And to do proper self-care, we must stop, change environments, and change our mindset. Many people do not have the time or money to do those things. I am saying that we are often unrealistically teaching self-care. 

I first realized this when a woman told me that we expect women to work like they do not have children and raise children like they don’t work. What does that have to do with self-care, you ask? As a woman in leadership, as a mom of two small children, and as a wife, my self-care is going to look very different from the next person. I can't expect the single man in his 20's working at our agency to want or needs the same self-care as I do. 

Self-care is supposed to allow us to stay grounded and resourced during stressful situations to endure them without becoming totally burned out. As leaders, we must accept and honor what self-care looks like for each person. Maybe it’s coloring during a zoom meeting because you can’t stand one more second staring at a screen, or it’s turning your camera off during a meeting because you have cramps and need to put a heating pad on your tummy. Whatever your self-care is, it does not need to look like your coworkers or your mom's, or the person on TV. 

My ask for all of you this month, mental health awareness month, is to really think about what you need at the moment to take care of yourself; and then make it ok to do those things. There is a specific challenge here for all supervisors, managers, and leaders to model self-care and make it a part of the workplace, shame-free, and completely acceptable.  Here at Ruby’s Place, self-care is part of your job; it is necessary, it is vital, it’s part of life. At the end of the day, "if you don't make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness." 

With All the Love and Leadership, 

-Sophora Acheson